Better Sex From Ages 30 to 40

Turning 30 is a big deal for many women. This is especially true if they're still single or without kids. Adding to that is the pressure of seeing everyone from your high school already hitched or having made some great accomplishment or the other. But nothing is worse than hearing your friends and relatives ask every chance they get: 'What are you waiting on to get married and start a family?' Hello, the right man!

Unforgettable Sex & Night

Below are listed some tips that will help you create an atmosphere for unforgettable sex.

Rent a room in a hotel

Probably the best thing about renting a room in a hotel is that you shouldn’t worry about staining the sheets with some creams or chocolate syrup, nor will you care if you or your girlfriend moan and scream, because you for sure won’t see your “neighbors” again.

Are Money Important in a Relationship

Meeting someone and becoming a couple is a wonderful feeling. You begin sharing your time together and your love for each other, and as your relationship grows closer, you may move in together, which means sharing expenses.

Do Your Guy Refuses to Use a Condom?

Men who are put off by condoms

There are men who will loudly complain about condoms, claiming that they are uncomfortable and cause erection problems, that they deprive them of much enjoyment during intercourse and ruin the intimate atmosphere.

How to Attract Other People

When you are out there and you are looking to improve your dating life or wanting to attract more and more people into your social circle, you will want to increase your level of attraction to other people. Even though you are looking to attract other people into your life, whether it is romantically or just socially, you have to look at your self.

Attraction begins with YOU!

How Frequently Couple Make Sex

There are many stages that couples will go through during the course of a relationship, and each will have some effect on the frequency with which they make love. There are some phases that are common, almost every couple will experience them.

There are other phases that are quite variable, having more to do with the emotional stages the partners will go through, together or seperately, than with the events of their lives or their biological aging process.

Do You Know What is True Love?

There are a few things love isn’t. Love isn’t a feeling. Although real love is often accompanied by strong feelings, love does not equate with the sense of floating on clouds. Unlike the type of love that movies, television, and songs portray, people in love don’t always feel ooey gooey around each other.

A relationship wouldn’t last long on emotions. In fact, knowledge is the basis of a healthy relationship.

Do You Know All About Fetishes

When you look past the world of "classic sex" there is a whole other world of fetishes. Fetishes are defined as an obsession with a specific act or feeling that generates arousal. These come in many forms. Some are basic like fetishes about feet or hands, while others involve intense role-playing. These are the most secretive types of fetishes.

The Art of Kissing

Do you remember your first kiss? Sometimes we forget how important a kiss can be. We grow up, get jobs, have responsibilities, and lose that connection. We take for granted the soft, sensuous intimacy of a kiss that compels us to want more, reminding us that we are alive.

Recently, a couple came in for sex therapy, and after four years of marriage had lost their interest in sex and kissing. They loved each other, wanted to be together, and were raising a young child. When I asked about their sexual habits, I learned that they initiated sex with one or the other saying, "We should probably have sex tonight." When asked about kissing, they just stared at me like I was a nutty therapist. It wasn't something they were engaging in to enhance their sexual experience or their lives together.

Kissing has a science behind it. When we kiss someone, a surge of oxytocin is released in our brain. This hormone is critical to our bonding and attachment to another human being. Its release makes us feel wonderful, safe, and deeply connected to our lover. It creates a breathtaking intimacy between the two. This deep connection is probably the reason why no video time is wasted on kissing in pornography. Kissing not only generates sexual excitement, but also euphoria. Yes, euphoria! So why, after a couple of months or years together do we forget to kiss our partner in just that way that drives them wild?

Kissing also has an evolutionary history. Some believe that it came about to insure the species continued. Mothers chewed their food in tiny bits and fed it to their babies, mouth to mouth. Another theory is that kissing was a way for women to test out the future father of their children. Some even say that kissing began as a way of spreading germs to a woman before she became pregnant so as to build her immunity.

But I do not think the scientists nor the historians have the entire picture on kissing. How can a scientific model explain the level of intimacy when two people decide to come so close their lips brush together? And how can an historian really explain the emotional surge that comes along with the tingle that starts in the hundreds of nerve endings housed in your lips and courses through your entire body?

They don't comprehend the significance of a simple kiss. A kiss is not just a kiss. It can make or break a relationship and/or sexual encounter. Think about Snow White's kiss with the prince or the tale of the princess and the frog. These kisses were more than just a simple joining of lips. They symbolized a rebirth, a transformation. Eve Glicksman says, "Ancient lovers believed a kiss would literally unite their souls, because the spirit was said to be carried in one's breath."

No matter the movie, East of Eden, The Notebook, or Brokeback Mountain, we all remember the scene that draws us in and ignites something inside. The connection between the characters and their longing for one another heightens our anticipation of the kiss.

A single kiss can mean so many things - a greeting, a farewell, a fondness - but what really draws us in is the longing for another, the promise of a sweet surrender to come. Or maybe it is the breath of life, letting us know we are vibrant and alive. It is part of the human experience. As Shelley said, "Soul meets soul on lovers' lips".

So how can you become a better kisser? Maintaining good oral health, using lip balm, gazing into your partner's eyes, moving in, and tilting your head are all things that will help you plant one on your lover. Beyond that it's important to maintain a sense of being in the moment. What makes a kiss special is what it says in that very moment, solely between those two people. The best thing about the kiss is the experience of being mindful with your full attention on your partner and his or her full attention on you.

So go ahead, give your partner a full on, luscious, mouth-to-mouth smooch tonight. It might not be your first kiss, but it can be your best.

Can Night Satisfies Women

Of all the techniques out there that lead to total female satisfaction, these are the ones experts say the majority of women overlook way too often.

1. Do It Before Sundown
Most of us get it on before bed, but that isn't the best time for women to have sex, says Laurie Mintz, PhD, author of A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex. Not only are you sleepy, but postwork worries cause your body to release the hormone cortisol, squashing your sex drive. In the a.m., women and men have naturally higher testosterone levels (which explains his morning wood). So set your alarm to go off earlier, and give him a sexy wake-up call.

2. Treat Him Like a Sex Object
"Women spend too much energy worrying about turning a guy on," says Joel Block, PhD, coauthor of Sex Comes First. To enjoy sex more, be selfish. Ogle your guy as if he were Taylor Lautner in Eclipse. By assuming the role of the "viewer" and focusing on your desire, you're less likely to be self-conscious and more willing to do whatever comes to your dirty mind.

3. Let It All Hang Out
Do you suck in your tummy when you're on top? Bad idea. That makes it harder to breathe deeply, which is a key to orgasm, says certified sexuality educator Amy Levine. Instead, try the tantric trick of slowing your breathing and taking deeper breaths. The extra oxygen will make your orgasm more intense by increasing blood flow below the belt.

4. Lock Eyes
You look everywhere but his eyes during the deed because it makes you feel vulnerable, says Block, but it's one of the best ways you can connect when naked. It sends the message that you're really into him and keeps your arousal high because your guy is mirroring his desire back at you. Ease into it by meeting his gaze for a few seconds and giving a sexy smile, then build up to longer eye contact.

5. Make Some Noise
Moaning, heavy breathing, and sighing during sex ups arousal by stimulating your central nervous system, says Mintz. Plus, if you don't speak up, he'll have a harder time figuring out what you like. Saying something like "Slow down — this feels incredible" is a positive way to get your message across, she says.

6. Insist on an O
You're so close, you can practically taste it, and then…he finishes first. Don't call it a night: "Make it clear that your needs are just as important," says Mintz. If you don't, it's easy to build up resentment (even if you're not aware of it), which can strain your relationship. Focus on your orgasm first, or if that doesn't work, brush your lips against his ear and purr "I want you to help me finish." Then hand him your vibrator.

The Magical Kiss

When a kiss is great, it can be electrifying for both parties. When it is bad … well, let's just say there isn't a lot of hope for a second date. Here are some tips to keep in mind the next time you're getting ready to pucker up.

You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss… hang on a minute. No it isn't! Because when it comes to dating, a kiss can change everything. Sometimes it's spine-tinglingly magical and sends shivers from your neck to your toes.

And sometimes, well, it feels more like licking a wet fish. While the chemistry you feel on your night out says a lot about how the kiss might go, there are a few things you can do to increase your chances of butterflies, chills, fireworks, and other memory-making moments. Try these lip-smacking tips to make this the first of many kisses to come.

Read when the moment is right. Ever found yourself bumbling and mumbling at the end of a date, wondering if your attempt at a good night smack will be the kiss of death? You're not alone. Stand close to your date, and let your arm rub against his or hers. Face your date with your arms open, not crossed, to show you're open to a kiss. Tell your date you had a good time, and ask your date how he or she felt. And most important?

Lock lips in a place where you don't have to hold back. Yes, it's romantic to kiss, say, out on a street corner, but if you're not the PDA type, you might end up holding back during your kiss. And those unsure feelings could hold back a fireworks-worthy performance. The fact is, kissing signals our brains to produce oxytocin, a hormone that gives us that wonderful, weak-kneed feeling. And the chemicals that produced that feeling prompt you to want to kiss more and create more, like a love drug.

Make eye contact before, during, and after your kiss. Eye contact immediately ups the intimacy level of any sexual act, say experts—so if you're smooching with your peepers shut tight, you could be missing out! So, before you go for gold, take a few seconds — one Mississippi, two Mississippi — to look at your partner eye-to-eye and establish this is a special moment between the two of you. After you first kiss, pull back, open your eyes, really look at your date, then kiss again. Then, open your eyes once during the kiss to bring the personal touch home.

Flirt With the One You Love

One of the things the two of you did when you first met and started dating was to flirt with one another. You were able to convey your intentions in a playful and romantic way through your flirting with each other.

Now that you are married, don't stop flirting with your spouse. Both of you need to continue to be fluent flirters!

Why You Should Flirt With Your Spouse
Flirting is a way to be playful with your spouse.
Flirting can be an ego booster for both you and your spouse.
Flirting with each other helps keep your marriage alive.
Flirting is a positive way to communicate your love to each other.
Flirting is a way to remind one another that you are still attracted to each other.
It is good for your children and grandchildren to notice your love for one another.
Flirting with your spouse is fun and natural.
How to Flirt With Your Spouse
You should already know how to flirt with your spouse. But just in case you forgot, here are a few tips.
Flirting should be spontaneous. Don't flirt at the same time everyday.
Look into your spouse's eyes. You have to make eye contact to flirt.

Coy looks, a glance, a wink, a smile, a pat on your spouse's rear, lowering your eyes, an arched eyebrow -- these all say you are still interested in your spouse.

You can toss your head slightly, squeeze your spouse's hand or knee, place your hand in a light touch on your mate's shoulder or back, give a hug.

The tone of your voice, leaning toward your spouse when giving a compliment, or a peck on your spouse's neck can show you care.

You know what your "come-and-get-me stance" looks like. Give your spouse that look at an unpredictable time.

Other flirting cues are whispering, fidgeting with earrings, necklace, necktie, change in your pocket, sitting close together, shyly looking away, leaving a love note for your spouse to find.

Flirting With Others Could Cause Problems in Your Marriage

You should be aware that flirting with someone other than your spouse can create jealousy problems in your marriage. The special gestures, glances, and expressions that make up your flirting technique should be reserved for your spouse.

Flirting with other people is playing with fire. It can undermine your marriage, make your spouse feel unappreciated, could show a lack of respect for your spouse and your marriage, and might be offensive not only to your spouse but to the person you are flirting with. Responding with comments about how you were "just joking" or "playing around" or "it doesn't mean anything" or "it's just harmless teasing" probably won't lessen your spouse's sense of being offended.

Love and Respect Among Partners

To truly experience ecstatic sex, love must be at the foundation. Love involves sincerity and nothing is more stimulating to the heart and aids the flow of energy during orgasm throughout the body than genuine expressions of love to one another.

As Partners Share Loving Validations They Can:
Gaze into each other's eyes with deep sincere love and respect,
Hold each other dressed or undressed as they share,
Lightly caress and touch each other being sure that the touch is not intended to arouse, but to express the loving thought.

Respecting a Male Sexual Partner
When it comes to validating the male, it is best to play to the aspect of respect. In particular, men enjoy validation for the things they do, provide, and protect.

These types of validations are often more meaningful than validating their inner qualities, though men do enjoy hearing about how they can be courageous, full of integrity, intelligent and industrious, to name a few more masculine elements.

Loving a Female Sexual Partner
As for a woman, she typically enjoys being validated for her qualities of being, more than doing. She may be especially sensitive to comments on her smile, looks, laughter, compassion, beauty, style, warmth, wit, and so forth. And, she may enjoy hearing how she is a good help mate, wise, sexy, nurturing, and supportive. What matters most is that the inner qualities are stressed more than her outer activities.

Five Senses of Seduction

Men, if you want to attract the opposite sex, you might consider becoming a Cardinals fan.

A new study from the University of Rochester has that found women are strongly attracted to the color red. Researchers showed pictures of men in varying shirt colors to almost 300 women, and time and time again, women believed the men in red to be the most "powerful, attractive and sexually desirable."

Although we aren't quite sure why this attraction exists, it is just one of the many ways that our senses play into our sexual desire and our selection of mates.

If you want to become an expert at attracting the opposite sex, consider the following findings on sexual attraction and the senses:

The nose knows. You might think that stand-bys like Old Spice and Chanel No. 5 are the sexiest scents, but Dr. Alan Hirsch of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago discovered quite interesting evidence to the contrary. Hirsch and his team had study participants sniff numerous different scents, and they then tracked sexual arousal post-sniff.

Surprisingly, scents of cucumber and licorice had the biggest impact on sexual arousal for both men and women. So, the next time you want to win over your date, try lighting a licorice-scented candle or using cucumber body wash. Every little bit helps!

Seducing with sound. If you want to let your man know that you are attracted to him, ditch the Paris Hilton baby voice. A recent study from Albright College in Reading, Penn., found that when women are sexually attracted to someone, they almost instinctively lower their voices, which might come as a surprise to people who associate hyper-femininity and high-pitched voices with sexual attraction.

Instead, try using a husky, breathy voice (reminiscent of Lauren Bacall) to let your date know that you might be into a nightcap at his place.

Using taste to tempt. We have all heard of common aphrodisiacs such as oysters and chocolate. These tempting foods purport to up our sexual desire and make date night out-of-this-world.

Personally, I believe that almost any food can be sensual, especially if you prepare it as a couple and take the time to smell and taste the food as you go along.

Though food is inherently sensual, some fare is more tempting than others. Any food that resembles a sexual organ often is quite racy think cucumbers or bananas.

Spicy foods such as jalapeno peppers get your heart rate going and can even flush your face, mimicking the reaction your body has during sex. Other foods such as creamy avocados, luscious strawberries, and fun finger foods like fondue also can be very sexy to eat and share.

And, last but not least, chocolate truly is the key to making magic in the kitchen! An Italian study found that women who consumed chocolate on a regular basis enjoyed a better sex life than women who did not, including increased levels of desire, arousal and satisfaction.

Let your fingers do the talking. The final sense is touch. While touching in the bedroom is clearly sensual, touching outside the bedroom is just as important, if not more so!

Little touches and caresses throughout the day keep you connected with your partner and increase your sexual attraction and bond. So scratch his back, play with her hair, hold hands in the grocery store -- and, of course, kiss!

Reasons why People have Sex in Public

Public sex is forbidden by law as well as morality. So what drives people to have sex in public?

1. Sex in public: Voyeurism
With public sex there`s always a chance that someone is watching, which can be a real aphrodisiac. It makes people feel like a real pornographic star without the scenery and camera. Some couples are aroused by the thought of someone watching them and getting aroused by their performance. It is a sort of exhibitionism which can`t be achieved at home behind the four walls.

2. Sex in public: A chance to get caught
Others are excited by the fact that someone can always catch them while having sex. This is accompanied by the feeling that they`re doing something forbidden which adds an extra excitement. Such people see public sex as naughty and very fun at the same time.

3. Sex in public: Spontaneous decision
If you are completely overcome by passion it is sometimes hard to wait to get home. Instead you choose a remote place to enjoy in your passionate moments and hope that no one will see you. There`s nothing wrong with it and it does not mean you`re a fetishist who only gets aroused in public. You are not the only one who had this experience but be careful not to get caught.

4. Sex in public: Break the routine
Many couples decide to spice up their intimate moments with sex in a public place. Some are satisfied with buying a new erotic toy or role playing, while others decide for public sex and when the opportunity arises they use it.

5. Sex in public: No other possibility
There are people who can`t have sex at home the way they want to or with the person they want to. Some people don`t have their own private space and public sex is their only possible option. This group of people is also most often caught and punished for having sex in public.

Offensive Boyfriends

Sometimes in relationships there is abuse. The reasons for abuse are numerous, but no matter the reason, no one should abuse, or put up with abuse in a relationship. However, this is far easier said than done. The following is a look at the kinds of abuse most common in relationships, and what you should do if you have an abusive boyfriends.

1. Mental abuse. Relationships should help you feel good, and love yourself. Many people mentally abuse their girlfriends by telling them things like they are ugly, or that no one else could ever love them. This kind of abuse usually results in a shattering of self-esteem. The woman often can't leave her abuser because she feels worthless, and that no one else would ever love or appreciate her.

This is an abuse that happens over a long period of time, and usually is accompanied with periods of good treatment. So, the person feels like they really must be loved, but before their confidence can grow, the abuser will say or do something to make them feel inferior, stupid, ugly, and unwanted. Thus, indebted to the abuser for liking them despite their many flaws.

If you or someone you know suffers from this kind of abuse, trying to talk them into leaving is fruitless. The only way to help someone suffering from mental abuse is to help them build their esteem, and feel like they are of value. Once they like themselves, they will remove themselves from a situation where their significant other is degrading to them.

2. Physical abuse. This kind of abuse seems to be self-explanatory, but in many cases it is done in a subtle, or justifiable way. "Accidents", or a "loss of control" are blamed for the physical abuse, and the abuser is absolved of responsibility. The person being physically abused often blames himself or herself. If they had not forgotten to do what he asked, he would not have gotten mad and hit me. If I was smarter, prettier, better in bed, he would not get as angry with me. These kinds of thoughts are very common, and very destructive. This is why physical abusers have the power. People outside of the abuse often do not understand how the person would put up with it.

However, it is never as simple as that. They might feel they owe them something. They may feel that they can't do better. The victims of physical abuse usually feel indebted to their abuser for some service rendered in the past. They often have too low of esteem to walk away, or are afraid of the consequences.If you or someone you know suffers from physical abuse, it is critical that you are supportive, that you help them feel safe and welcome should they need a refuse. Threatening them will no work, as that is what the abuser does.

So, instead, help them build esteem. Help educated them about physical abuse and how it tends to escalate, and help them see what their other options are, including facilities that house and protect abused women.

Abuse is very serious, and it comes in many forms, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse. The list goes on. Most victims of abuse have low self esteem and have been convinced that they somehow deserve the treatment. So, to help them, help their esteem.

What is Sexual Risk?

Few people would try to drive a car for the first time without getting some sort of instruction. Most of us know that before we can make a great soufflé we need to learn a bit about baking, and practice cracking eggs. Yet when it comes to sex, we are far too ready to rush into a decision without enough background information.

The first thing to understand about safer sex is that, like any sort of behavior in life, all sexual behavior carries some risk. Here are some examples of how sex can be risky:

1. You could be masturbating in your bed, fall off the bed and break your arm.
2. You are cautious about having sex with a new person, but decide to take the plunge. The sex is awkward, and the next day they break up with you in a really mean way.
3. You have unprotected oral sex with your partner and get a sexually transmitted disease.
4. You have what you think is a one night stand with someone who wants to move in with you the very next day.

There is risk in getting out of bed, in going to work or school, and in engaging in sexual behaviors both by yourself and with others.

So the goal is not to have “risk-free” sex, because it doesn’t exist. The goal is for you to understand the risks you are taking, to choose what risks to take and not to take, and to make these decisions on your own, without too much influence from:

• Parents
• Partners
• Social pressure
• Drugs or alcohol
• A host of other external factors

Understanding sexual risk is all about taking the time to make choices, rather than diving into a situation without thinking.

Because most of us don’t get the chance to learn a lot about sex, and we aren’t really allowed to talk about it much, we tend to make decisions without the kind of information we need to make good decisions.

Ultimately sexual risks are the potential negative consequences from sexual behavior and activities. The most obvious examples of this are sexually transmitted diseases. So when you think about having safer sex, of course think about the ways you can protect yourself and your partner from sexually transmitted diseases, but also consider more broadly the way you make sexual choices without thinking, and the ways you can bring more thoughtfulness to your sexual decision making.

Can any Good come from Jealousy?

Is jealousy a sign of love? Does it induce commitment? Does it teach people to not take their relationship for granted? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you're in good company, because various researchers and marriage counselors have come to the same conclusions.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that feeling jealous — or attempting to make your mate jealous — is a desirable feeling. In fact, psychologist Ayala Pines argues in the book “Romantic Jealousy” that there are some profoundly negative effects of jealousy. They include: causing physical and emotional distress to you or to someone you care about; straining a relationship; driving a partner away; restricting a partner's freedom; distorting your partner's emotions (and your own), wasting time that could be spent more enjoyably — and the possibility that you could trigger such intense emotions that your relationship could turn violent. So jealousy is not something I tend to recommend to my patients.

All the same, some good can indeed come out of jealousy. Pines documents several positive effects of jealousy, which are:

Jealousy makes people examine their relationship. Romantic jealousy, with all the emotional and physical turmoil it generates, provides people with an opportunity to examine such questions as: “What does this experience tell me about myself, my partner and our relationship? Is this the kind or relationship I want for myself? What can I do to change things?” Most people would probably never do such self-examination if they were not in the midst of emotional turmoil.

Jealousy teaches people to not take each other for granted. All too often, when we feel reassured of our partner's love and commitment, we start to take that love for granted. We make demands we would have never made during the courtship stage, and we would not make of others. Our partner becomes the person in our lives who is “supposed” to understand our work pressures, our all-absorbing involvement with our children, our friends and our interests. In effect, we permit ourselves to give these other involvements a higher priority than we do the relationship. The threat of a third person stops this over-involvement with other things or people, and brings the focus back to the couple.

Jealousy is a sign of love. If a person is on the receiving end of a partner's jealousy — and sees that jealousy as a sign of love — that stance tends to free up the couple to get through the issue more quickly and constructively.

Jealousy is an instrument for inducing commitment. A jealousy crisis, which makes the person aware of a competitor for his partner and the chance of losing the relationship, becomes the trigger that often induces commitment. Since men may more often fear commitment than women, this may explain why women are more likely to induce jealousy than are men.

Jealousy intensifies emotions and adds passion to sex. Jealousy makes one's partner look more desirable. Just as children find the toy they have neglected to be more interesting when someone else shows an interest in it, an adult's fear of losing what they have come to take for granted makes them realize just how desirable it is. All of a sudden they notice the wonderful qualities that made them fall in love in the first place. Thus jealousy can bring excitement to a listless relationship, because in the midst of a jealousy crisis, people are no longer bored. Similarly, jealousy can also make a couple more passionate and sexually excited about each other. Passionate sex depends on emotional arousal, and jealousy, as we well know, can be extremely arousing emotionally.

Jealousy protects love. A jealousy crisis can serve as a reminder to both partners of how important they are to each other. Thus jealousy can restore the relationship to being the number one priority.

I am not proposing that you seek out jealousy in your relationship, only that there are some redeeming aspects to it if you happen to go through it.

What are Factors of Real Love?

All of us have different opinions about love, but very few can define it. This is considered as a universal and inconsistent emotion and thus is difficult to define.

Attraction

If we consider the beginning of a feeling of love, it usually starts when some one turns you on. And you get turned on because you like some observable qualities in that person. This is the physical attraction you feel for a person. This is a stage where most people, make wrong decisions. It is because they can't differentiate between physical attraction and love.

Compatibility

Then begins the journey. When you start knowing the person more, then you tend to realize that a person comes with both the positive things and the negative attributes as well. This is the time when people weight their compatibility.

Time as a factor

Sometimes our intellectual abilities can be a hindrance in selecting a partner. love for some is considered as a factor that cannot be assessed by our intellect. Time is the best way to analyze if a relationship would work or not. So you can answer simple questions like Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person or not?

Science and love

The latest trend of making sure two people are really in love with each other is by the use of something called Biomatching. For this you don't have to follow the traditional method, which believes in the test of time. If you look for potential partners at random, there is a chance that you just feel like you love a person and would miss the actual feeling of being in love.